Not So Happy Life
by BroodyCheery323
Summary: In the aftermath of 5x22, Dean goes to Lisa's. But can he really sit back and live his life knowing that Sam is suffering? Can he live without Sam?


**AN:** The season finale of Supernatural broke my heart, put it back together, and then broke it again worse than before. I've never screamed or cried so much for one episode of any show. Season 6 better be the best season ever! Anyway, as much as I want Dean to get his happily ever after, I honestly don't think he would just go live a normal life knowing that Sam was suffering. He would do something and then go live a normal life. So that's what this is for! Enjoy! : )

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Dean sat silently on the couch. The sound of a TV could be heard from somewhere in the house and the only light came from the moon streaming through the living room window. A part of Dean recognized that he was tired, but he didn't move. It felt like he would never move again.

_You go find Lisa. You pray to God she's dumb enough to take you in. You have barbecues and go to football games. You go and live some normal, apple pie life, Dean._

Dean clenched his eyes shut, as though doing so would force the words from his memory. Sam's words echoed in his head, reminding him that his brother was gone. Dean's eyes burned with unshed tears. Tears that he wouldn't, _couldn't_, allow to fall. Somehow he knew that if he did…they would never stop falling.

_You go find Lisa_. _You go and live some normal, apple pie life. _

He had listened to Sam. He had found Lisa…that was whose house he currently occupied. But could he stay? Could he really live a normal happy life while Sam suffered? Could he even live a life without Sam?

He had once told Lisa that when he pictured himself happy it was with her and Ben. He wasn't lying when he told her that, he still pictured himself happy that way but he never thought it would be without Sam. He hadn't mentioned Sam's name when he told her, but not because it wasn't true… it was a given. Dean needed Sam.

Dean sighed and let a single tears fall from his eyes. He always knew the answer to the questions that had been bouncing around in his head. No. He couldn't stay; he couldn't live a happy normal life while Sam suffered. He couldn't live without Sam.

Dean heard the gentle padding of footsteps against the stairs. He glanced up enough to see Lisa coming toward him. She didn't say anything, just sat next to him. Dean dropped his gaze to the ground.

Lisa watched Dean closely. She took in the slump of his shoulders and the red tint of his eyes. Dean looked defeated. Lisa blinked back the tears at the sight of the broken man next to her. Hesitantly, she reached out a hand to gently rest on his shoulder. She felt Dean tense slightly.

"Dean…"

"He's gone, Lisa." Dean interrupted.

Lisa nodded sadly. "I know, Dean. I know."

Lisa heard a sob escape Dean and she reached out to pull him into her arms. Dean turned to her and buried his face in the crook of her neck. He brought his arms up to wrap tightly around her. Lisa just pulled him closer.

A few minutes went by with the only sound in the room being Dean's broken cries. Lisa didn't offer any words of comfort; she knew they wouldn't do Dean any good. Another minute went by before Dean's cries suddenly stopped and he pulled away from Lisa, rubbing at his puffy eyes. Lisa stared into his eyes and sighed at the look she saw reflecting back at her.

"You're not staying." It wasn't a question.

Dean nodded. "No, I'm not. I can't. I can't live my life knowing that he's suffering. I can't just do nothing. I have to find him…I have to save him."

"I understand, Dean."

Dean turned away from Lisa's understanding eyes. He knew of course that she would understand but it didn't make leaving her any easier. Dean wasn't sure if what he felt for her was love but he knew it could be…would be. But not yet. Not until he saved Sam.

"You know when I told you that I pictured myself happy with you, I meant it. I still mean it, but-"

"But not without your brother." Lisa finished for him. Lisa reached out her hand and turned Dean's head to face her.

"You do what you need to do, Dean. Get Sam back. I'll wait."

Dean shook his head. "Lisa, I can't ask you-"

"I'll wait, Dean." She repeated. "No matter how long it takes. Just promise me that you'll come back. You and Sam."

Dean nodded. "I promise."

Dean had never meant a promise more. He _would _get Sam back and they would both be coming back here. They would live the normal apple pie life, but they would live it together. Dean was never surer of anything.

He had no idea of where to start getting Sam back but he didn't care. His first stop would probably be Bobby's. Then maybe he would get Cas back down here and then Sam. They had stopped the apocalypse…they could do this. Hang on Sammy.

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Review and let me know what you thought please! : )


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